英语小笑话：Excited Remarks 激动的话

       Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals（长声尖叫） of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I'm going to have one of those someday, his dad's response always was Not as long as I'm alive.
       One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I'm getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.

       我五岁的儿子对摩托车有强烈的爱好。只要看见一辆摩托车，他就会高兴得哇哇直叫，并激动地说：瞧这辆！瞧这辆，我总有一天也要有一辆。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活着，你就别想有这玩艺儿。
       一天我们的儿子跟他的小朋友在说话，有一辆摩托车开了过去。他兴奋的指着摩托车叫道瞧这辆！瞧这辆！等我爸一死我就要有这样一辆摩托车了。

 

英语幽默笑话：Sharing the Apples 分苹果

       Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.
       So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.
       Well, said Harry, that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?

       妈妈给了哈里两个苹果，一个大一点，另一个小点儿。跟妹妹分着吃。妈妈说。
       所以，哈里就把小个的给了妹妹，自己开始啃那个大个的。
       哼，妹妹说，如果妈妈给了我，我会把大的给你，把小的留给自己的。
       对呀，哈里说，你拿到的不就是小的吗？还着什么急呀？

 

英语笑话：要求加薪 Asking for a Raise

       At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn't bother people in the outer office.

       After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal（疯狂的）screams, hysterical（歇斯底里的）laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager's secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again?

       我在一家之声工作。经理把我叫进他的办公室，让我预试一下我们准备购买的一套新的音响效果设备。他关上门，以免打扰外面办公室的人。

       听了几个常规的音响效果后，我们开始试听低声的呻吟，狂乱的尖叫，歇斯底里的大笑，哀求声和枪声。最后我开门出去，从经理秘书旁边经过时，她抬起头问道：又要求加薪了？

 

英语笑话：Fish net 鱼网

       "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
       "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
       “你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安？”老师发问道。
       “把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。”小女孩回答道。

       不是那样的 It's not that

       A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.

       B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.

       A: No, it wasn't raining.

       A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。

       B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！

       A：不是，当时并没有下雨。